The past weeks I got reports in that kittens and cats didn’t get any tuna or less tuna then normal. So I had to investigate that. I would be outrageous that cat parents would save money on the favorite noms of their beloved cats. I would say that way is no way to go. I visited my companions that are always helping a paw.The First stop was at Mr. Mooch his house. I wanted him to listen if he didn’t hear any rumors about “The Tuna”. He has a fine nose for rumors, gossip and Tuna. Combine these 3 together and you have the purrfect cat for this mission. The same mission for Rupurrt and Morton.
I checked the inter webs and it seems that there indeed was something going on. A few days later the first report came in. It was quite disturbing what I read there. “Daleks were seen running away with cans of tuna. Cats reported that they woke up and all the tuna was gone! Even reports that Daleks robbed shops to get all the tuna. …OMC, What on “Earth” was going on? Did they suddenly fancy the taste of tuna? Or was it again an evil plan of them to “Catsterminate” us?
This required a closer look of the situation. So come along Pond, we have to go! Amy and I made a small detour to get our Dalek-experts: Mr. Mooch and Mr. Morton. Then a little turn to the left for our tactical officer “Rupurrt”. Now we were ready to find out and to stop this.
We agreed to set up a trap. Traps always seems to work perfectly. Tuna, was used again but this time it were hoping to get a Dalek and not a cat in it. So we searched the globe to find enough tuna to set up this trap. We had a big pile of Tuna. Mr. Mooch developed some tracking devices so we could attach it to “The Dalek”.
The trap was settled and we waited, we were lucky after a few hours Daleks showed up and started to collect “The Tuna”. Rupurrt shot the tracking devices to the Daleks and all hit the targets. I think he wanted to impress Amy. We let them go so we could follow on a short distance.
We left and followed them between time & space, so they could not see us. Where did we ended after the pursuit? Yes, Skaro, what a surprise. They landed at a hangar and put the tuna inside. That made the plan easy: ” Get into the hangar, take the tuna and run” . We all got out of the TARDIS and used our sneaky paws to get in. Now, when you have a simple plan, you know that it can go worse. ‘It got worse’. When we entered we saw cats, they were all walking odd. They all looked like zombies. I used my sonic screwdriver and they didn’t had a hartbeat. OMC they were droids made from Dalek technology. ‘That was really scary’. The question was why did they need tuna? So we mengled into the droids, what was really funny: “Amy couldn’t hold her tail quit” she had to try real hard. Rupurrt was next to hear, some didn’t understand what the plan was. Then they started to serve Tuna, all the cats started to purr and miauw like real cats and they ate the tuna. Mr. Mooch jaw dropped with what we saw. This way things got complicated. It seems that they had a plan to replace us with droid cats so they could conquer our houses, toys and humans. We could not tolerate that. How to stop them? Where there already cats like these on our planet? Or was it the first group? We didn’t know.
A new plan had to be made, but what could we do? Destroy them? Then Mr. Mooch reminded me on what I did on the party: ” Sonic screwdriving could turn them around”. First we had to catch some of them. Mr. Morton and his charms were used again and a few of the cats reacted. We separated them from the group. The first plan was to let them bark, but my doggie friends would not be happy. Amy had a better plan, she wanted them to “hate tuna”, so if a human ever put tuna in front of there nose, they would know that it’s not a real cat. So we changed the software of the Cat-Daleks. as we call them now. When they see tuna they will turn around and run away as far as possible. So if you ever see a cat run away from tuna then you know it’s a Cat-Dalek. We saved our humans again and our tuna!
When you get today Tuna, don’t forget who saved the tuna!