So you remember that my mom went to “FACTS” last year? That ended not well for me with all those foster fail Daleks. The past week mom announced that she would go to another convention. I had to stop her to get more foster fails into the house.
I needed a good plan. Clara and I were talking about The Foster Daleks. I told her if we had more foster fails mom wouldn’t have any money left to buy the ingredients for her soufflés. The soufflé baking would end. She agreed that this would be a disaster and that she would be unhappy, what made her my partner in crime.
What did we do? I bought with my moms credit card Tuna treats, Cat toys until her credit hadn’t any credit left. We reported her bank card as stolen and they blocked the card. Then I replaced her money with fake money. A solid plan, no money is no Daleks to adopt, foster, buy or whatever mom preferred.
This morning we waved mom out and wished her a very good day. Clara made for me an excellent soufflé with tuna and bacon. We napped the whole afternoon and had the most pleasant dreams.
A few hours later mom returned. She entered the house and she was like: “You never guessed what happened…” Both of use with the most innocent and sweetest face you can imagine: “Enlighten us with what happened?”
“I wanted to buy something and I tried to use my Credit Card and it didn’t work. I’m certain I had still some credit left. So I used my bank card but that was reported stolen. Someone of the security called the police and fortunate I had my ID with me otherwise they would have put me in jail. After that I wanted to pay cash and someone changed my money with fake money. Who would do that?”
Clara, Amy and me gave mom a snuggle and asked her what she did without money.
“There was such a nice gentle Cybermen walking around there and he upgraded my credit card, fixed my bank card and I got cash from an angel. Isn’t that sweet?”
Ok, everyone. That was the point my fur went from black, to green and to white. Mom was like: “Billy, are you alright?” No, I’m not alright, my plan failed. Who was responsible that my plan failed? I should have noticed that mom left this morning with one empty bag and returned with 2 bags. If you don’t have any money then you should realize that something is wrong.
I told my mom I was happy that her problem with her card got fixed and that she got money from an angel. Now I was curious what she bought and I was hoping no more Daleks. The first thing she got out was a pack with baby Daleks and baby Cybermen… The first who is laughing now I will send to the middle of nowhere. Then she got a Weeping Angel out. Yes, it’s getting worse… She met the Fifth Doctor and he got a picture taken with him. Look closer to the photo… she has her eyes closed. I don’t think that that is my mom. I think she is a Weeping Angel in disguise. I think somewhere on the convention they switched her. I think I won’t blink until I’m certain.
Sleep and napping… no way with all these new enemies in the house. I am not crazy. If I need sleep I will sleep in my TARDIS far away from my enemies.
Even Amy and Clara agree that this is a situation that would be called “non-safe for any cat, human or living being”.
I will find a solution for our problem but we have to find it fast because mom or “weeping mom” is talking to go to another convention in July and this time in our home town. The enemy is getting closer, we are at the edge of enemies we can handle.
Will talk to you later, mom is standing here with her eyes closed like a statue. CREEPY is the nicest word I could find for that look…
We love you all,
We will win this fight
Billy The Time Cat
Clara Oswald, The Impossible Dalek